Meet Yourself with Kindness

I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of “not enough.”

We receive cultural messages of “more,” “better,” “different,” or “improved.” Rarely are we told we’re okay just as we are. This affirmation must come from within. It’s a strange paradox: until we accept ourselves as we are, we can’t make the changes we seek. When we reject whole parts of ourselves, these places never heal.

Earlier in my life, I confused self-acceptance with self-care. The latter involves externals; the former involves internal intimacy. I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of “not enough.” Years of meditation taught me to sit with my uncertainty, fear, and self-judgment. I saw (and still see) places where I resist, and it’s these very places where I remain stuck. I won’t become unstuck with a good glass of chardonnay and new yoga clothes. I move forward by meeting myself right where I am. Even if I repeat the same negative habit a thousand times, I can begin anew: notice, forgive, and grow.

It’s natural to look outside ourselves for approval and love. Much of our conversation, consumption, and achievement is unconscious code for “am I okay?” But externals can’t provide the balm we need; they can’t show us—deep in our hearts—that we’re okay. We must do this for ourselves. [Read More…]

Source: Bella Grace Magazine

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